Dating with aspergers
Books and blogs on sex and relationships, written by people with Asperger's Syndrome, are only recently published and read.In the work I have done with people who present with significant Asperger's traits, or who have a diagnosis, I generally need to convey information about sexuality and relationships in an organized, sequential manner within a context — or even a script! This requires me to challenge my own assumptions about how relationships "should" be conducted.Many relationship elements that I assume are essential are not necessarily relevant to my clients. I have begun to think that all of us — whether or not we have Asperger's — should create our own "operating manuals" to discuss with prospective lovers and partners.We could include all kinds of useful information, taking the sting of surprise from some issues and opening opportunities for communication that would otherwise have been closed.Others will also ﬁnd partners who manage to make adjustments to a relationship that may not feel exactly like the sentimental or emotional partnership they expected, but who have managed to build bridges over the gulf created by average expectations.After monitoring exchanges on internet Asperger groups, and looking at the results of two surveys I conducted as a student, it is clear that many adults with Asperger Syndrome desire friendship, sex and lasting relationships.The average or neurotypical partners also need to learn coping and communication skills to understand their AS partners.
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Imagine going out on a great date and not having to worry about Asperger's - well that's the case here!
Pop culture stereotypes of "absent-minded professors,""geeks," and "nerds" are familiar labels to most of us, conjuring images of rather odd and laughable eccentrics.